The Grave, for so many there is such an ominous nature to those two words. I remember writing a poem in high school about the horrid black beast—a hearse—that devoured those I loved. I carried so much pain and anguish over the deaths of my grandfathers for so long. Because of that trapped pain, frozen Prana, I stopped seeking out new friends. If they came into my life, that was fine but I didn’t want to face new pain from friends leaving me for whatever reason. It was simply safer to not love than to face more grief.
I remember the day clearly when all the grief I held—for my grandfathers and others in my life who had died by that time—finally burst free. My wife and I stood in her mother’s kitchen that Memorial Day and I sobbed and sobbed into her arms. A few years later my new grandfather, my wife’s grandpa, died and the pain wasn’t so acute. Part of the reason was that blessed Memorial Day in my mother-in-law’s kitchen. The other reason was my understanding had increased, I discovered that grief was a commandment and a natural outgrowth of loving another.
Thou shalt live together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of them that die
Even more powerful was what my Grandma Fay told me as she lay in her bed shortly before she died. “Ty, don’t you cry for me. If you need to cry for yourself, that is ok but don’t you cry for me. I am excited to die, this is my next great adventure.” She died on the 17th of November 2002. Shanna’s Grandma Louise died a week later on the 24th and since then Shanna’s Grandma Vivian, her father, a sister and two sisters-in-law have died along with a number of dear friends and neighbors.
Why the somewhat melancholy post? On the 12th of April a member of my ward family, Bob Secretan died. Ten days later another dear ward family member, Roger Anthony died. Both are men I love and I will miss their smiles and laughter. Last night my mom informed me that her beloved friend Ann had suffered a major stroke and wasn’t expected to live through the night. Ann watched over mom and me while we were stationed with dad in Germany. She’s been something of a second mom, third grandma with her children being like cousins I love but rarely see.
So why the post? I just want to publicly wish these loved ones bon voyage and safe journeys on their next great adventure and to promise that, when the time is right, I will go running after them.